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We Don’t Know When

We Don’t Know When

. There is an anniversary but I never know when it's going to hit. I can't really anticipate it because it can come at any time. It came today. The first snow. . When you were little you ran with your siblings to the window and jumped up and down with glee. It didn't...

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Before Him shall bow all who go down to the dust,
even the one who could not keep himself alive.

Psalm 22:29

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Christian Suicide Loss

Our Story

of suicide loss

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Why You Are Here

   The week my son Tristan ran to heaven, I remember feeling desperate to hear from other Christians who had children that could not keep themselves alive. Surely, my husband and I are not the only ones? Surely, there are other children who loved Christ and lived for Him until they could not stand to live any longer? I opened my computer and googled the first words that came to mind: Christian, suicide, loss, family. Then I waited for help to pop up on my screen.

   Nothing. Nothing came up.

   At first, I thought I must have made a typo, so I tried different words again and again. The only things I could find were groups for suicide survivors. There was not a single site for people like us: A mom and a dad with a family who loved the Lord, who leaned on God’s Word, and who never imagined that suicide could touch their lives.

   If you are that person, this website is for you.

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"Come and hear, all you who fear God,
And I will tell what He has done for my soul."
Psalm 66:16

We Don’t Know When

We Don’t Know When

. There is an anniversary but I never know when it's going to hit. I can't really anticipate it because it can come at any time. It came today. The first snow. . When you were little you ran with your siblings to the window and jumped up and down with glee. It didn't...

read more
Two Lines That Sum It All Up

Two Lines That Sum It All Up

  I finally found a place where I feel at home. My sorrow and longing blend into the wallpaper.  I could cry, or be still as a statue, or simply stare out of the window for hours and it would all go unnoticed as part of the landscape. I would belong. We were here...

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My Last Goodbye

My Last Goodbye

Your brother is going away to college. I looked for a way to pack his stuff so his bedding would fit inside his suitcase. Then I remembered the vacuum sealer bags that suck out all the air. It's a great way to save room. You know what else it's great for? It preserves...

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Don’t Let the Green Grass Fool Ya’

Don’t Let the Green Grass Fool Ya’

 I danced with my daughter in the kitchen today. We were celebrating an answer to prayer that I've been praying since she was born. The California Honeydrops were the perfect soundtrack for our giddy excitement. Jubilation and thankfulness took over and we couldn't...

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Back When We Were Six

Back When We Were Six

 I saw us all standing in the photo, back when we were six. We were so real, as we had always been. Together. I traced your face in the picture and kissed it. Back then we lived six like breathing, without thinking about it. Six was just who we were. Six was who God...

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