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Don’t Let the Green Grass Fool Ya’

Don’t Let the Green Grass Fool Ya’

 I danced with my daughter in the kitchen today. We were celebrating an answer to prayer that I've been praying since she was born. The California Honeydrops were the perfect soundtrack for our giddy excitement. Jubilation and thankfulness took over and we couldn't...

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Before Him shall bow all who go down to the dust,
even the one who could not keep himself alive.

Psalm 22:29

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Christian Suicide Loss

Our Story

of suicide loss

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Why You Are Here

   The week my son Tristan ran to heaven, I remember feeling desperate to hear from other Christians who had children that could not keep themselves alive. Surely, my husband and I are not the only ones? Surely, there are other children who loved Christ and lived for Him until they could not stand to live any longer? I opened my computer and googled the first words that came to mind: Christian, suicide, loss, family. Then I waited for help to pop up on my screen.

   Nothing. Nothing came up.

   At first, I thought I must have made a typo, so I tried different words again and again. The only things I could find were groups for suicide survivors. There was not a single site for people like us: A mom and a dad with a family who loved the Lord, who leaned on God’s Word, and who never imagined that suicide could touch their lives.

   If you are that person, this website is for you.

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"Come and hear, all you who fear God,
And I will tell what He has done for my soul."
Psalm 66:16

Don’t Let the Green Grass Fool Ya’

Don’t Let the Green Grass Fool Ya’

 I danced with my daughter in the kitchen today. We were celebrating an answer to prayer that I've been praying since she was born. The California Honeydrops were the perfect soundtrack for our giddy excitement. Jubilation and thankfulness took over and we couldn't...

read more
Back When We Were Six

Back When We Were Six

 I saw us all standing in the photo, back when we were six. We were so real, as we had always been. Together. I traced your face in the picture and kissed it. Back then we lived six like breathing, without thinking about it. Six was just who we were. Six was who God...

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When God Says No and You Say No Back (Pt.1)

When God Says No and You Say No Back (Pt.1)

  I've been in the pit. If you've been looking it's been six weeks since I climbed down there. It's where I realized there is a big difference between the first and second year of grief. I remember every morning during the first year of Tristan's loss. My eyelids...

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Sparrow Falls

Sparrow Falls

They told us that grief affects each person differently. Maybe I was too traumatized to lay this to heart or maybe I expected my husband and I to be the exception to this. While I mourned outwardly, he mourned inwardly.  While I poured over pictures, he turned his...

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The Land of My Affliction

The Land of My Affliction

When Tristan went to heaven I was immediately flung into the land of affliction. It's a land where I carry the missing in my breast. Over time the barren soil began to spring forth new things and one of them was eyes to see grief in other people. Even people in the...

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