I’ve noticed since Tristan died that I’ve developed a habit. My hands fidget nervously with whatever is near and small enough, a pen, a torn napkin, whatever I happen to find. This day I wasn’t even aware of what I’d picked up, I just handled it over and over as I talked on the phone. I was spinning it around on my finger until the conversation ended. I hung up the phone then looked down at my hand and gasped. There staring right at me was a ring with a statement: True Love Waits.

Our oldest son had ordered this ring in the wrong size so it ended up in our junk drawer. I’d seen it over the years while digging through the desk for rubber bands. It was just another one of those things that needed sorting. Today I realized that God had saved it just for me.

God knew all the times I wished I was dead. When the scream that I carried in my heart was too loud, drowning out everything in front of me. He knew I needed a tangible, visual reminder that I could see as I brushed my teeth, wiped the table, filled the pot with water. Because honestly, that’s how often I thought about not wanting to be on this earth anymore. And His answer for me made it from the junk drawer and onto my finger: True Love Waits. His message made it from my bible page and onto my hand where I would see it everyday.

Someone Else is Waiting

You want to know who else is waiting? I found out in Hebrews. It’s the most important person in the world. If HE has to wait, then I am in good company. 

Do you know what Jesus did after He offered Himself as a sacrifice for our sins? He sat down at the right hand of God. This is significant because the temple priests had to offer so many sacrifices that they never got to sit down. There were no chairs in the temple because their job was never done. Their busiest season was Passover where so many Passover lambs were slain that the blood poured down the temple mount into the Kidron brook and turned it red. Jesus and His disciples made their way to the Garden of Gethsemane on a Passover night, stepping over that brook with its red water. 

Christ knew that when the sun rose it would be His blood that was sacrificed but He still prayed, “Father if it is possible, let this cup pass from me.” (Matt. 26:39b) He understands the torn soul of knowing what’s written in the Book, and begging God for it not to be true. He understands seeing the most horrific thing unfold before you, and pleading with God to take it away.

Christ completed His job. He sat down. And from that time forward He is waiting. The King of the universe is waiting.

Christ spoke everything into existence, even time into existence, and now He is waiting on time. There are events to come that God has put into place at His appointed time. His precious Son is waiting for the fullness of time when all is made right with the world. No more mommas burying sons. No more pain too great it can’t be kept alive. There is a time coming. And Christ is waiting for it just like we are.

 “But when Christ had offered for all time a single sacrifice for sins, he sat down at the right hand of God,  waiting from that time until his enemies should be made a footstool for his feet.”  Hebrews 10:12-13.

I didn’t use to wait for the fullness of time. I was too busy loving my family of six. But now I wait, and I cling, and I beg. A family of five makes you want the fullness of time. God knows. And He sends just what I need, even if it’s a ring that’s been hanging around a junk drawer for such a time as this.

Dear God, Your Son is waiting, but He’s also working hard loving us, holding us, interceding on our behalf. Can You make me be like that? I can’t get beyond myself to want to. Can you make me want to? Let Your Holy Spirit use your Word in my heart and mind to love those I’m with while I wait. Thank you for these words, True Love Waits. Give me the love it takes to make it. In Jesus name, Amen.

Note: For a in-depth look into the life of Christ during the last week of His life, see Doug Bookman’s series here This series is what kept me alive in the weeks after Tristan went to heaven.