So many tears left uncried.
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They bottle up.
You say you catch my tears in a bottle. What about the uncried ones? Do you number those, too?
They are choking the life out of me. I feel like my body is holding on to them at the cellular level where even I can’t reach them.
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Is that what Tristan felt like? Did he have tears uncried? Is that what made him leave? The tears he couldn’t weep?
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I wonder what it will be like to step into a world where You wipe away all of our tears.
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Can I ask You something? Can I just stand there, while you hold me, and can I cry upon your shoulder all these frozen tears that I can’t reach now? It will feel so good to process the sorrow, the deepest sorrow I’ve ever known.
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I don’t want it to vanish upon arrival in heaven. I want to look into Your eyes where You will say without a single word, I KNOW. And I want to sob and sob and sob all of the sorrow out until I’m clean.
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I think that’s what You mean when you say You will wipe away every tear. I think we get to cry them, first, because we’ve earned the weeping by what You ordained for us. You wept like that about Lazarus even though you knew you were going to raise him from the dead. You burst into tears and everyone stopped crying and exclaimed, “Look how he loved him!” You KNOW these tears.
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Maybe Tristan will cry with me. Maybe you’ll hold us both. Yes, I think he will want to enter into the cleansing because he was the catalyst of the life he left behind, but we were bound to.
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In all the footage of reunions I’ve seen, there is not rejoicing and smiles all around when a long-lost one is finally home. FIRST there is grabbing and clinging and tears of relief and disbelief. Tears of release and gratitude at the unbelievable lifting of the torment.
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I think these will be my first moments with You and Tristan again. At least I hope so. Whatever you have in store will be better than I can come up with. But I’m asking, as Your little lost lamb that wants to come home. Hold me now, and hold me then, and let me cry.
No more tears in heaven? Actually, no more tears on the New Earth. See Randy Alcorn’s insight on the biblical text here.
